


shinies

by AquaQuadrant



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Child Soldiers, Gen, Grief and Loss, Hurt/Comfort, Post Order 66, Trauma Bonding, ahsoka was there for rex, consider this my tribute to TCW, inspired by art from lornaka on tumblr, minor language, now it's rex's turn to be there for ahsoka, references to death, survivor's guilt, takes place shortly after the finale of TCW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaQuadrant/pseuds/AquaQuadrant
Summary: He remembers the shiny Padawan he met on Christophsis, what seems like a lifetime ago. Bright-eyed and capable beyond her fourteen years- Rex was only ‘fourteen’ for six months, as part of a childhood that passed in the blink of an eye. If they’re speaking chronologically, he’s still only thirteen.But experience outranks everything.~*~After their escape from Order 66, Rex and Ahsoka finally talk.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 19
Kudos: 143





	shinies

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Hello readers! Well, a Star Wars oneshot was certainly the last thing I expected to be writing, but the Season 7 finale murdered me and I saw some stellar art by Lornaka that demanded a story behind it so here we are. My MCU Spider-Man fic is scheduled to get an update this Saturday, and I'm hoping to get back to work on my Tangled fics very soon, but I just had to pay tribute to this beautiful, horrible show. Hope you enjoy! - Aqua
> 
> Art: https://lornaka.tumblr.com/post/617691531135041536/this-one-is-purely-for-catharsis

__

_shinies_

~*~

Rex does a third and final check of their hyperspace route before turning in the pilot’s chair.

Their shuttle is a small thing, and Ahsoka isn’t far from him. She’s sitting on the bench, resting her elbows on her knees as she stares at the opposite wall. She hasn’t spoken since they took off. She seems numb, in shock.

Rex clears his throat, rising from the chair. “You okay, kid?”

Ahsoka’s eyes cut to the side, regarding him with a look that isn’t entirely there. He’s struck by how harsh the hollows of her face look, the exhaustion that’s settled into her features.

 _Kid,_ he calls her, but she’s been without the innocence of childhood for a long time.

He remembers the shiny Padawan he met on Christophsis, what seems like a lifetime ago. Bright-eyed and capable beyond her fourteen years- Rex was only ‘fourteen’ for six months, as part of a childhood that passed in the blink of an eye. If they’re speaking chronologically, he’s still only thirteen.

But experience outranks everything.

They were both shiny, then. He’d liked to believe himself not to be. His higher level of training granted him a certain degree of authority that made it easy to forget he was leading brothers who’d been made the same year as him. But really, back then, he knew _nothing._ Nothing at all compared to what he’s been through now.

The war had been new, then. Ahsoka was part of the first generation of wartime Padawans, the young commanders raised on months-long campaigns and all the horrors that came with them. In some ways, they had it easier than the Generals, the Jedi Knights and Masters who remembered a time before the war, when the Jedi were strictly peacekeepers. In other ways, they had it much, much worse.

Fourteen years old and coping with the loss of men on her orders. Fighting for her life just to fight another day, no end in sight. Surrounded by death and destruction, haunted by the faces of the ones she couldn’t save.

In that way, they’re the same. They were both kids forced to grow up too fast.

There’s nothing shiny about him anymore. Every part of him is coated in dirt and grime, his hands and his soul stained with the blood of his brothers. It’ll never wash out, he already knows. He won’t try to forget- he owes it to them not to.

“You can talk to me,” Rex says quietly. Almost a plea. “Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opens them again, her gaze is clearer.

“The force is mourning,” Ahsoka tells him. “It’s so… empty. A gaping, bleeding wound. It’s… I’ve never felt such an emptiness before, never felt so… completely _alone._ It’s like every star in space has been blotted out. It’s disorienting.”

Her assessment is delivered with no small amount of grief, sharpening the edge of her voice. Rex can’t imagine what it must feel like. He feels the loss of his brothers as keenly as a blade to the heart, but he knows it’s not the same thing, the same way Jedi are connected to all living things through the force. To lose so many in a single moment must be devastating.

Rex approaches. “You’re not alone,” he reminds her. “I’m here. We’re gonna get through this, alright?”

Ahsoka stands up to face him, her expression terse. “You shouldn’t be following me, Rex,” she whispers, bowing her head. “I don’t know what to do.”

It’s a painful thing, to see Ahsoka so uncertain and lost. More so to know that she fears she’ll get him killed. It was always the Jedi with the plans, the clones dutifully carrying out their orders like good soldiers- _good soldiers follow orders_ \- and now that’s been turned on its head, like everything else.

Rex hums noncommittally. “Well, I know what _I’m_ doing.”

Ahsoka looks up in surprise, confusion knitting her brows.

Rex speaks honestly, reverently. “However long they made us to last, I’m gonna spend it protecting you,” he swears. “It’s what the General would’ve wanted, to know you’ll be safe.”

Ahsoka is quiet for a moment. Conflicted. “It’s going to be dangerous, travelling with a Jedi,” she warns.

As if leaving her is an option. Rex summons the barest of grins. “Good thing you aren’t one, then.”

Amusement dances in Ahsoka’s eyes for a brief second before it’s gone, overcast by sorrow and guilt. “I might’ve been, again,” she confesses, surprising Rex. “I didn’t really want to leave _forever._ Maybe… if I hadn’t left at all, things would’ve been different-”

“You couldn’t have stopped this,” Rex cuts in sternly. “None of us could.”

Ahsoka smiles sadly. “That goes for you, too.” Her voice is soft, but knowing. “I know you want forgiveness from me, but you don’t need it. It wasn’t you. I know you’d never hurt me.”

Rex swallows and glances away, unable to hold her gaze. Damn Jedi and their ability to sense what he’s feeling. Or maybe that’s just Ahsoka, just because it’s him, it’s them. They’ve been through a lot together. They know how each other thinks.

He does want forgiveness. From her, for not being strong enough to resist the chip. From Fives, for not fighting harder for him or looking further into it. From all the brothers he had to kill or leave for dead. But Ahsoka’s right; it’s not something that can be given to him, so he’ll have to live without it.

He inhales. “And you’re not afraid…?”

 _Of me,_ he can’t quite finish. _Of what I almost did. What I might try and do again._

Ahsoka’s hand travels up, fingers brushing feather-light over the bandage on the side of his head. “The chip’s gone,” she says simply. As if that answers everything.

Maybe it does. 

He’s still got questions. Who was behind the chips? How many other Jedi managed to survive? Where will they go? Who is their enemy now? Can any of his brothers be saved? Who do they serve? Are there any other horrible secrets built inside of him, fixed to strands of DNA like armed mines, waiting to blow?

But they can wait.

“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” Rex murmurs. “It’s over now.”

Moving carefully, Rex cradles the back of Ahsoka’s head and presses their foreheads together.

Ahsoka doesn’t pull away. She winds one arm around his shoulder, her other hand gripping the front plate of his armor- armor that’s been scorched and beaten and worn, coated in ash and dust. She breathes in, breathes out. Then she breaks.

Her eyes squeeze shut as a sob is strangled in her throat, like a dying gasp. Her hold on him tightens and he feels her tremble. Terrible and violent, that trembling is, like the way the ground shakes in battle when it can no longer withstand the firestorm raining down on it. Her tears trace the lines of her markings, the same markings painted on the helms of the 501st. 

Rex closes his stinging eyes against his own tears, pointless as it is. They streak unbidden down his face, dripping down his chin. It _hurts_ to let himself cry, his mouth twisting into a grimace. His other hand grabs Ahsoka’s arm, to hold her close, as if that could somehow protect them.

They cry together, lost and confused and hurting, grieving the death of everything they knew before and terrified of the uncertain depths they’ve been plunged into.

Like a couple of shinies.

~*~

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N:** If you enjoyed, please consider leaving a comment! This fic is also on Tumblr, in the link below, if you want to reblog it there. Thanks for reading! - Aqua
> 
> Tumblr: https://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/617954329716031488/shinies


End file.
